North Face… What’s in a Windwall?
Oh how I love marketing ploys. They’re the best, they manipulate and twist our minds until its so unbearable, we fold to our greed and our logic drowns in confusion.
North Face, what beautiful jackets they make. I love North Face, I love to enter North Face stores and browse, and only browse. I observe from afar, I look but never touch. Until… I discovered the coveted WINDWALL technology. “What a simple concept?” I thought to myself…
I had to have it! How to justify a $99 jacket? My will bended to North Face’s seductive marketing scheme.
But what exactly is a windwall? Is it simply a magical North Face wall against the wind? Who knows. I didn’t know. I went onto the internet in search of the meaning of the windwall and this is what it says on the North Face site:
“Wind can be your worst enemy, making cold and uncomfortable, dangerous and unbearable. The WindWall® 1 Jacket takes the edge off.” -Cedar Wright, The North Face® Athlete, Rock Climber The WindWall® 1 Jacket is a great windchill-inhibiting fleece for everyday wear. Delivering athletic warmth in cold weather, and excellent insulation when layered, there’s no wonder why this is a favorite fleece among athletes in windy, cold conditions.
Sounds great! But what the hell does it mean? It’s a bunch of gibberish to me.
“WINDCHILL INHIBITING” – is that even a word?
It’s just marketing right? It’ll work when it counts.
Winter finally arrived and I had my opportunity. On this especially windy day in mid-February, I had my chance. While everyone was complaining about the cold, and the deathly winds, I knew I was covered. I had spent $99 dollars on North Face’s exclusive WINDWALL technology! One of the premier “…windchill inhibiting fleece” out there! Nothing could go wrong. I stepped out into the world feeling like a million bucks! I felt like raging bull ready to stampede my way through the day with my WINDWALL on my back! Nothing could stand in my way! Nothing could stop me! As I stepped out… to my dismay, on this glorious day where I was destined to be more, when I had just finished watching the US ARMY tell me that I can be all that I can be!
The morning where the culmination of everything I’ve ever learned finally aligned and I understood what it meant to be an AMERICAN – I stood at my door-step wearing my WINDWALL NORTH FACE JACKET and my RAINBOW SANDALS…
I was stopped. I couln’t move a muscle. My destiny was halted. I was halted. The wind penetrated my heart with fierce conviction and the windwall did nothing to stop it! After months of anticipation, my heart sank. My trust in man-kind was never the same.
“…take the edge off” they told me…
$99 dollars later and the wind still pains me. The only element I can trust these days are my GOD-given abilities.
Way to go North Face.