Random Thoughts. Random Times.

Off the grid.

I love being connected!

I wake up in the morning, check my facebook.

Take a shower, check my facebook.

Get to work, check my facebook.

30 minutes before lunch, pretend I’m working, check my facebook.

During lunch, facebook on the iphone.

Get back to my desk, check my facebook.

Counting down the minutes until 5pm, check my facebook.

Get home, check my facebook.

Dinner, check my facebook.

3am, *DING* Iphone, check my facebook.

I really do love facebook, it helps me keep in touch with friends I never talk to, and acquaintances I’ve never met. Its a very progressive concept! I can’t even begin to imagine a life without facebook. Life without facebook is life without porn, it just can’t be done. Between Porn and Facebook, there’s really nothing beyond it. Life is complete.

The world would crumble without it, how can I keep in touch with people who don’t matter? How can I invite people to my birthday parties? How can I keep people informed about my feelings? HOW? There’s just no way around it, I need facebook, I crave it, I can’t live a day without it! I’d trade in my kidney for it, give up food. Because Facebook fulfills my life.

Facebook is AMAZING, just check out these stats!

Incredible!

we despise facebook! Well maybe just me.

Facebook helps me keep in touch with old friends:

One can argue that facebook is what binds us together and unites us with former buddies. But I don’t think we’re meant to have 753 friends at a time, and there’s a reason why we don’t keep in touch with 753 friends. If we can’t keep in touch with people without facebook, than they’re probably not worth our time to  begin with.

I like looking at people’s pictures:

This is a classic. More like – I love looking at other people’s pictures because I sub-consciously like to compare my life to other people’s to adequately gauge where I am in life. Or vice-versa, I like to post pictures on my facebook to show people how cool I am and how much of a “CARPE-DIEM” life-style I have.

We all know no one is going to post pictures of them failing their exams, battling their drug addictions, their $0 dollars in their bank accounts…

Facebook – stalking:

Everyone and their mom’s stalks someone on facebook. Whether it’s your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, you’re trying to get the dirt and gossip! Ever since facebook came along, we’ve all developed a little P.I. in all of us. Who did your significant other used to date? No problem, turn to facebook and you can find all your answers. What is my partner up to? Nothing’s a secret anymore. Don’t even try to lie to anyone, the truth will always surface… Thanks to FACEBOOK!

People have turned facebook into a bible of a person’s life and through facebook you can seek out a compendium of one’s life with a click of a button. We can look up strangers and within an hour, know everything there is to know about them.

Truly a revolutionary tool.

I love to put my feelings out there:


I love it when people post their random emotions and thoughts throughout the day. These people are the ones who are always the ones striving to emit an individualistic persona who are too caught up in their own lives to care about anyone else’s.

Examples:

  • – heart-break sign.
  • – “I’ve had better days”
  • – “Robert D.”the greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
  • – =/
  • Confused…
  • – *insert inspirational wisdom*
  • – *movie quotes*
  • Vague – “the mirror images of my soul whispers to me in breathless… *sigh* (WTF DOES THAT MEAN?)
  • – Passive shit-talking – “I hate you bitch, I’m going to CUT you”
  • “About to do the laundry w/ james!” (Who cares?)

Unnecessary Facebook Arguments:

I’m sure we’ve all been a victim of stupid arguments surrounding facebook. Anywhere from: “Who is that posting on your wall” from “How come you didn’t come to my birthday?!”

The fact that we have arguments which stem from the usage of Facebook is utterly stupid. We all have hundreds of friends at a time, of course some random person will post on your wall throughout the day. I cannot be responsible for 1 of my 500 friends when they post on my wall.

Events? If you really want someone to attend your event, you would pick up the damn phone and call. Who has the time to sit on front of the computer screen for hours purging through thousands of event and fan requests to notice your birthday? Which brings me to my next point –

Facebook helps me remember people’s birthday:

I love seeing people’s pages and even my own on birthdays. I’d get tons and tons of birthday wishes and it fills up pages upon pages. I feel loved! I feel great, its my birthday and tons of people remembered! Facebook is an illusion, it creates a feeling that people are great friends only because facebook reminds everyone of your birthday. Without facebook, no one would really care about your birthday or even remember it. The ones who actually call you to say happy birthday and actually make it to your dinner or party are your friends.

Not that guy you met 5 years ago at the bus stop who be-friend-ed you on facebook an hour later, only to post “happy birthday” because of an automatic notification on facebook.

Pathetic.

—–

I don’t want to be poked. I don’t want to look at your pictures. Don’t try to invite me to your birthday via mass invite. I don’t want to post on your wall. Don’t like my statuses. Don’t send me messages. Don’t make me be a fan of…. Don’t make me join your stupid mafia. Don’t make me attend your ghetto restaurant. I don’t care about your farm, I shop at Whole Foods.

I’m no longer on Facebook.

Pick up a damn phone and call me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s