Don't sell yourself short. The ShamWOW Complex
Tired of everyday salesmen who aren’t even salesmen? More after.
Now that you watched the magical Shamwow, we can discuss the greater issue at hand. Salesmen are annoying enough, whether you’re buying a new car or walking by a cell-phone kiosk at the mall, no one cares.
More importantly, have you ever met that friend or stranger where every sentence which comes out of their mouth seems like a sales pitch? Every answer to a question is a sales pitch followed by mini sales pitches desperately trying to establish themselves as a great commodity. They are quick to answer or provide a statement which almost always reverts the conversation back to them in some regard and when they successfully revert the conversation, the endless barrage of sales pitches begin to blast away. They jump at the moment to reassure everyone around them about who they are and what they’re all about. They sound so confident and seem like they have a strong hold of who they are. Sound like your neighborhood one-upper? NOPE.
We call this the ShamWOW Complex.
Do you have one of these friends?
People who suffer from the ShamWOW Complex desperately attempt to sale themselves at all costs. This is actually a SERVICE ANNOUCEMENT – PLEASE BEWARE OF PEOPLE WITH SHAMWOW COMPLEX.
Threat LEVEL = Highly Dangerous
Will attempt to sell you loads of BULLSHIT
But in all seriousness, these are some of the most annoying people on the planet. They’re a fusion of One-Uppers Syndrome hopped up on Ecstacy. Their distorted realities make it impossible to interact with. They not only try to one-up you through their sales pitches, but they suffer from enormous amounts of deathly insecurities which forces them to bombard you with mini-series of sales pitches until you break down mentally and plead with them to stop by painfully acknowledging their existence. It is near impossible to have a conversation with someone suffering from ShamWOW Complex. Can you imagine trying to talk to the Shamwow guy? That’s how it is.
In addition to their loads of bullshit, one might argue that they sound very confident in who they are and what they’re all about. But are they? People with the ShamWow Complex expect everyone around them to know exactly what they’re all about but in reality I have no idea what people are about. In fact, I don’t know what I’m about 99% of the time. The ShamWow-ians speak as if they have the world figured and their directions zeroed in to perfection.
Obvious red-flag here… Anyone who claims they command such confidence in figuring out the world is no doubt ignorant. In life, I believe our perception of life are constantly changing on an annual and sometimes even weekly basis. We can never be too sure of tomorrow and what it has to offer nor can we fully account for all our future experiences. Events and situations occur every single second of the day and we can never know what each and every instance can teach us about the world around us.
So please when in the vicinity of someone suffering from the ShamWOW Complex, be sure to AVOID AT ALL COST.
NEWS FLASH – THIS JUST IN:
Shamwow guy Vince Shlomi arrested for beating a hooker
Sham fail: Shamwow guy Vince Shlomi was arrested for beating a hooker in Miami last month.
The Smoking Gun reports that Shlomi pleaded self defense, claiming that the hooker bit his tongue:
Shlomi told cops he paid [Sasha] Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit…notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face…. After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the [hotel] lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse.
The hooker is reportedly considering a lawsuit against Shlomi, though prosecutors “declined to file formal charges” against him.
Apparently Shamwow never fully took off…