Random Thoughts. Random Times.

Are you breaking up or getting married?

WongFu does it again! This video is on point when it comes to relationships and its stages. What caught my eye was when they were talking about if they would ever get married, or what the next steps were. I’ve been saying this for awhile but…

Not sure what it is, but it seems everyone around me lately is either breaking up or getting married.

More after the jump! 

Maybe its the koolaid, or maybe we just want to be like everyone else, or maybe, just maybe, people are in love. I have to admit, and be honest here and I’ll probably have a lot of haters after this post, but I think everyone is becoming too obsessed with a man-made timeline backed by social norms.

More than half the time, when I ask couples why they’re getting married, a consistent answer entails that it is just the next step or because they’ve been together for a long time, it just seemed logical.

Call me old-fashioned or even a dreamer, but I’d like to still believe in true love. Maybe I’m in denial that fairy tales aren’t true, but deep down inside I truly want to believe that love is real and people still get married for love. I understand that there are many variables at hand, but love should still be the basis and the essence of why two people get married.

Single Ladies: 

An answer I often receive is is simply that someone’s girlfriend demanded it. When I hear this I often reference Beyonce’s song “Single Ladies,” in my mind and find it interesting people are all wrapped up in the song and its message. While I believe its true that we men should put a ring on it if we truly want to be with someone, but I am certainly not an advocate of a girlfriend demanding it. Sometimes things aren’t as complicated as they seem. If a man doesn’t want to propose to you, than he is obviously not ready for marriage. Telling him to put a ring on it may rush the process, but it certainly will not help the relationship. Men are forced into a situation where they are involuntarily getting married which will just complicate things down the line. So ladies, if you’re obsessed with getting married and your man isn’t proposing, than he doesn’t want to marry you. Simple. And if all you want is to get married, then maybe you shouldn’t get married to begin with.

Marriage Obsession:

Marriage obsession… Are you obsessed with getting married or do you truly want to spend your life with this individual? This applies to both men and women, both men and women can become obsessed with the notion and thought of marriage. The vision of the big day seems so joyous and exciting, that they fail to look beyond it and see the hardships that come with a life of marriage. I’m not saying marriage is a bad thing, but I am speaking to the couples who get divorces after a few years and wonder what happened. Obviously, everyone should take a minute and think if they’re mistakenly infatuated with marriage or do they truly believe the person they’re marrying is the one.  Please don’t settle with someone to fulfill a life-long dream of marriage. 

Love is a fairy tale: 

We need to begin to let go of these notions of biological clocks and timelines. If you’re a female and you’re afraid that someone you’re with won’t marry you if you’re too old, than obviously that person you’re with is probably not the one for you. Whoever you marry should love you for who you are from today till the end. Marriage should be based off of love and chemistry. I believe people should not be infatuated with marriage, but instead develop these feelings  the need to get married only when they find someone they want to spend their life with. Love should be a fairy tale in a way that fosters a lifetime of happiness… Sure, times can be tough,  but the ability to have love be the anchor in any relationship is what keeps 2 people together through the rough times.

Scrap your timeline, and let life take you on an unpredictable adventure. That’s the only way to find true love.


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